


Shhh

by Ragno



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Existential Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:57:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6769624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragno/pseuds/Ragno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hush hush, don't say a word</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shhh

 

 

    Ryan likes Brendon when he’s asleep. Really asleep. When his lips are parted open, soft and plump against the pillow, his eyelashes resting on his cheeks, no lines on his forehead, no fake smiles. He looks innocent. He still does when he’s awake, with that shine in his eyes like the world is a wonderful place even after all the shit he’s been through. His parents kicking him out and his shitty apartment and the rent for the room to practice and that awful job at the Smoothie Hut. It wonders Ryan how nothing seems to take away that light behind Brendon’s eyes when his own light it’s been gone for so long he’s not even sure if it was there at all. But there’s something different, when he’s asleep. Because Brendon wouldn’t be able to fake it, to hide the ugly truth, and Ryan’s sure he can’t hide the ugly truth when he’s asleep, he’s not even able to do it when he’s awake. But Brendon does, because he’s not hiding anything, because after all this time he’s still pure. He’s still… innocent.

    Just watching him like this, so vulnerable, makes his stomach twist and a whirlwind of feelings runs through his veins. He’s the first one, the only one that makes Ryan feel like this, feeling something that he never imagined he could feel. He’s the first one, the only want that makes Ryan need to protect him. Ryan never saw himself as someone who could protect anyone. He couldn’t even protect himself. But he was already ruined, already messed up, already broken. There’s nothing that could’ve been done with him, to save him. But Brendon. Brendon still can be saved. Brendon’s not broken yet, and Ryan has this urgent need of doing anything to keep him that way. Ryan wants to save him, even if he never knew how to save himself.

    He feels his heart speeding up, so overwhelmed it’s like his skeleton wanted to crawl out his skin, and he can feel his heartbeat hard inside his throat, inside his ears, inside his head, and his breath is getting louder, reverberating in the silent room. He shifts in the bed just to get closer to Brendon, their knees touching and their body heat mixing. Brendon’s still naked under the sheets, too tired to put his clothes back on last night when they finished. They did it when everyone was already asleep, and Brendon kept laughing and Ryan kept telling him to stay quiet, to stay still, or Spencer and Brent would wake up and find them and everything would be a disaster. But Brendon couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop looking at Ryan with those huge hopeful eyes, shining in the middle of the dark like the light at the end of the tunnel. Ryan just kissed him, kissed him desperate and kissed him hard, buried deep inside Brendon’s body.

    Brendon’s skin is soft when Ryan touches his arm with the tip of his fingers, tracing one finger lightly down to the side of Brendon’s body, under the covers, circling his hipbone and feeling Brendon shivering in response. Ryan licks his lips and looks at Brendon closer, how a little soft moan escapes his open mouth when Ryan ghosting touch traces the length of Brendon's hardening cock. Ryan bites his lips when he feels it, moving a little bit closer, wrapping his hand around Brendon’s erection just to hold it, caressing a little with his thumb. Brendon lips open wider when Ryan starts stroking, sweet and slow, his neutral expression filling with pleasure, his hips moving to make his cock slide in Ryan’s grip. When Brendon opens his eyes, slow and with his brow furrowed, Ryan twists his wrist just a little, making him moan and lick his lips. 

    “Shh.” Ryan says, soft, low, but still sounding raucous in the cold morning silence, touching his own lips with his index finger, his eyes still locked on Brendon’s. “They’ll hear.”

    Brendon blinks a couple of times before his face relaxes, biting his bottom lip with a little smile when he nods, moving closer so he can touch his nose with Ryan’s. Brendon kisses Ryan’s finger because it’s still over his lips, and Ryan swallows before moving his hand to cup Brendon’s face. Their lips part together and Ryan dips his tongue into Brendon’s heat, tasting and licking and kissing him. He bites into Brendon’s juicy mouth, scratching his plump sweet lips and Ryan wants to drink him, Ryan wants to drown right there. He wants to drown in Brendon.

    His hand slips down to cup Brendon’s balls, his body moving to place himself on top of Brendon, using his knees to open Brendon’s legs carefully. His fingers tease lower down, making Brendon groan into Ryan’s mouth when he touches where he’s still slick open from last night. Ryan can’t resist to push a finger inside him, then two, just to feel how the ring of muscle ease around them, let them in. Ryan pants hard in Brendon’s mouth, resting his forehead on Brendon’s and looking at him in the eyes when he pushes his fingers deeper, twisting them.

    “Fuck me?” Asks Brendon as softly as he can, his voice coming out so sweet Ryan wants to taste it against his tongue. So he does. He opens Brendon’s mouth with his tongue and licks the warm honey from his words. Brendon tastes so good Ryan’s pretty sure he could live off of it. “Ryan. Fuck me.” Brendon says again, he orders and he pleads at the same time, and just his voice is enough to make Ryan crazy.

    Ryan doesn’t say anything, but he brings his hand up to spit on it, taking it down again to push his pajama pants down and and using it to coat his cock, only then realizing how impossibly hard he is, when just the lightest touch of his own fingers against the sensitive skin makes him bite his lips hard to stop him from making any sound. Of course he’s losing his head, all of his blood is pumping towards his cock right now.

    They’re not using protection, and Ryan knows it’s wrong, but he’s never done it like this, he always wore a condom, with girls, and Brendon was a virgin until last night, so he needs to convince himself they’re doing it like this because they know there’s no danger at all, not because what they’re starting to feel for each other is so strong the only thought of having something between them, even the thinner layer of latex, makes him cringe.

    “Fuck. Fuck. _Ryan_.” Brendon moans when Ryan pushes inside, the tight warm channel opening up for him, giving him goosebumps when Brendon puts his arms around him, hugs him closer, bites his mouth and kisses him languid.

    “Shhh.” Ryan shush him, nodding because he knows, good God, he knows, swallowing when he starts to move and every little cell of his body twist and squirms in pure bliss, the pleasure so devastating it’s hard to handle it. The way Brendon body just accept his cock makes him shudder, unable to control his hips when he starts pounding, driving into Brendon with his legs trembling. “You feel so good… You feel like magic.” He whispers, touching Brendon’s lips with his own, kissing him again when he fucks him harder, biting Brendon’s mouth and pulling his bottom lip when the kiss breaks. Brendon’s lips look raw red, shiny and huge, just like his eyes, staring into Ryan’s soul wide open as he tries to control his moans, digging his nails on Ryan’s back. “Look at you, God. You’re a clear night sky full of northern lights.”

    “ _Ryan_.” Brendon moans, shivering, and Ryan shush him again because the guys are right there, and they shouldn’t be doing this in the first place, but Brendon’s hot and slick under his body, his hair starting to stick on his forehead, and his innocent face is the face of pure sin, and Ryan just want to drive in, bury himself here, live here, die here.

    I love you. He wants to say that. He wants to say Brendon, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, and so the words repeats in his head. But he doesn’t say it, because when Ryan loves someone they always end up leaving. Ryan’s cursed. Ryan doesn’t want Brendon to leave. Ryan needs to save Brendon and to do that he needs him to stay. So he doesn’t say he loves him, even if he’s feeling it within every inch of his skin.

    Brendon doesn’t stop saying his name, moaning and panting and trembling under Ryan’s body, he says it like a prayer, or like an answer to one, and Ryan just can’t take it, he can’t. So he shuts Brendon’s mouth with his own, kissing him sweet has he brings one of his hands between their bodies, fisting Brendon’s cock and stroking as he fucks him, the sound of the mattress and their ragged breaths filling up the room. 

    He knows Brendon’s coming when he feels Brendon’s nails scratching lines down his back, biting Ryan’s lip harder when his cock start to pulse like crazy. Ryan keeps fucking him through his orgasm, the warm white fluid dripping down his fist as he strokes Brendon’s cock empty. He’s going to pull out, grab himself and finish somewhere else, but Brendon pushes him down, holding his ass to keep him in place. “Inside,” he mutters, and it’s enough to send Ryan over the edge, grunting and swearing and looking for Brendon’s mouth one last time because now it’s him who can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. He comes inside Brendon, feeling the muscles contracting around him, pressing and sucking him down, almost like Brendon’s body wants this, need this. Ryan thrusts a couple of times more before the tiredness starts to gain control of his muscles.

    He falls on the mattress with eyes closed, his chest raising and falling agitated, trying to control his breath. He covers his face with his hand, pushing his hair out of it and rubbing his eyes. There’s light outside his eyelids, and Ryan’s sure the sun is not that up yet. When he opens his eyes, Brendon’s looking at him with a warm smiles and Ryan thinks he’s really stupid for not noticing that the sun was here the whole time.

    “You’re so bright, you make me shine.” Ryan says, looking at Brendon like he doesn’t really quite understand how is it possible for him to be real. So pure, so perfect, so innocent. So bright even Ryan’s touch cannot stain him. Ryan’s cursed touch cannot stain him. So maybe Ryan’s curse wouldn’t… 

    “Ry. I think I…”

    “Shh.” He shush him again. He can’t take that chance.


End file.
